Why Second Marriages Fail: You Picked The Wrong Man Again
How will you know when you meet him?
Seriously, tell me how you will know if the guy standing in front of you is the real deal.
How will you know when you have found your ‘Ideal Partner?’
This is the most important question all women dating after divorce must ask themselves?
If you don’t get this part right than you will end up picking the wrong partner, that’s a guarantee.
How do I know?
Because this was the most important lesson I learned on my own journey of dating after divorce.
You need to seriously examine, ‘Why Second Marriages Fail.’
If you never learn anything else from me but this lesson then I will feel grateful that I saved one more woman from making that dreaded mistake of hooking up with the wrong man the second time around and walking down the isle.
I am passionate about this because successful second marriage statistics are dismal at best.
What’s The Story With The Second Marriage?
Second marriages have a higher divorce rate than first marriages.
Well it starts innocently with lie we tell ourselves about remarriage.
The lie we tell ourselves is…
“I have learned my lesson and will not repeat my past relationship mistakes with husband #2″
We know it’s a lie because second marriages fail more often than first marriages.
So why would your second marriage fail?
What Is The Second Marriage Divorce Rate?
Why is the second marriage divorce rate higher than that first marriages?
Because, you have not completely understood the real reason for your first marriage failing.
That’s like NASA developing the next rocket before researching why the last rocket one exploded.
Now, if you find yourself feeling defensive and your mind is putting together all the reasons for your split with your ex, like he cheated on you.
I invite you to take a deep breath and try to keep an open mind and hang in there with me for a few more minutes.
After working with thousands of divorced women dating over 40 I began to see a very common thread of why first marriages failed.
In brief it comes down to in this…
Not understanding our own values and emotional needs at the core of your being.
And that is the main reason we choose wrong partners.
Now the second time to the alter, it’s much more complicated than it was the first go around.
You now have your history with your ex, and you’re trying to build a relationship with this new man who brings his own history.
Plus you most likely have children and ex spouses to deal with, and the list goes on.
How To Ensure The Second Marriage Success?
So for the second marriage it is even more important that you figure out what you need in a relationship to for it to succeed.
And you need to do this before you jump into the dating game, if you value choosing the right partner versus the wrong husband.
Getting clear on your values and emotional needs requires introspective work.
It’s about digging under the facade of who you think you are and what you need, to the oftentimes find your hidden truth.
What is the reality of what you need to have a healthy relationship?
It is not about going in the opposite direction of what you did not have with your ex.
That will invariably point you in the wrong direction of finding your ideal mate.
And this is where so many women dating after divorce get lost and chose the wrong partner again.
Step 1: Get Clear On You Emotional Needs BEFORE Choosing Your Next Mate
We can’t really go into all the detail in this blog but basically emotional needs are about:
Honesty and Openness
An Attractive Spouse
And getting to the reality of your unique emotional needs requirements you must have in order for a relationship to flourish.
Step 2: Prioritize Your Relationship Values
Values are about:
Religion – Spiritual
Again you need to really understand what you most value and must have in a spouse in order to sustain the relationship.
And of course there are other things such as having some common interests like traveling or dancing etc.
We have just uncovered the tip of the iceberg about ‘Second Marriage Success‘ and choosing the right partner this time around.
To really succeed in taking the positive steps to meeting the man that is best suited to you check out “Dating After Divorce, I’m Ready Now What”.
It will take more of the mystery out of finding the right man for you.